In the book Reinventing Your Life, it discusses 11 different life traps that we fall into in our lives. The book also discusses 3 ways in which we respond or deal with issues. We surrender to them, try and escape them, or we use a counter attack approach. This theory also translates to porn addiction.
Recently, I was working with a client and we were discussing his feelings of shame, which are primarily: I am defective and if people really knew me, they would not love me. As we discussed his feelings of shame and the impact those feelings had on him, I started to see a pattern with his feelings and his porn addiction.
When he felt shame he would respond in 3 ways, 2 of the 3 lead him to act out in his addiction and view Pornography and Masturbate.
1. If he surrendered to the shame he would ultimately feel defective and less than and as that feeling would build he would eventually give in and view porn.
2. If he chooses to escape the shame he would go directly to Pornography and act out.
3. The third option counter attack was the only one that took him away from the porn. In these cases he would choose to fight against the feelings of shame and push towards acting in ways that did not reinforce the shame.
Our ability to counter attack the shame and not give into the feelings of defectiveness will go along way in our ability to Overcome our Porn Addiction and have the freedom in your life that you are looking for.