In the book Reinventing Your Life, it discusses 11 different life traps that we fall into in our lives. The book also discusses 3 ways in which we respond or deal with issues. We surrender to them, try and escape them, or we use a counter attack approach. This theory also translates to porn addiction.
Recently, I was working with a client and we were discussing his feelings of shame, which are primarily: I am defective and if people really knew me, they would not love me. As we discussed his feelings Read more [...]
Jeff is a quiet and contemplative 28 year old male, recently married
with no children.
During our initial meeting Jeff easily disclosed his personal life,
providing a wealth of background information regarding his education
Jeff works as an accountant with a moderate size firm and shared openly
his desire of making partner within a short time frame. Further
disclosure indicated that Jeff had served a Mormon mission overseas in
Southeast Asia where he had acquired a taste Read more [...]
In this lesson we will come to understand the dynamic of the control and release phase that is associated with our pornography addiction.
The Control and Release Phase is also referred to as the Shame Cycle of Acting in and Acting out.
In the Control phase there is and extremeness of acting in (perfectionism) that is going on in behaviors such as saving, dieting, religion, wanting to be the perfect dad, husband, businessman, etc. You want to achieve perfection, look for acceptance and have a sense Read more [...]
In this lesson we are going to learn a specific strategy to help us break down the shame cycle so that we do not fall into our addiction.
In order to do so we must first recognize that we have a false belief system that is built around our shame identity.
The components of the Shame cycle include the following thoughts:
I am flawed and defective.
No one could love me as I am.
Triggers that send us into this shame cycle can come from people, places, and things.
The intervention tool Read more [...]